Natalie Portman’s Creative “Woke” Woody Allen Spin

February 21, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Since pretty much every actor and actress in Hollywood has kissed the ring slipped onto the crepey blotched hand of Woody Allen over the six decades that he has been directing five good movies and three-hundred terrible ones, pretty much every actor or actress in Hollywood must face questioning regarding his sexual misconduct because this […]

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Jennifer Lawrence Wants To Have Sex With Timotheé Chalamet

February 21, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

My co-workers and I just had a rousing conversation hypothesizing what could be going on in Jennifer Lawrence’s head right now, because she’s obviously on the cusp of a mental breakdown, and we settled on either tail-end-of-America’s-sweetheart-status syndrome or Adderall. Or of course both. The twenty-seven-year-old is hitching herself to the Timotheé Chalamet bandwagon by describing […]

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J Law’s Year Off Dedicated To Saving Democracy

February 21, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Sometimes celebrities really believe that they’re superheroes. It’s all up to them to save the day just because millions of mostly unimportant people have decided that this one person is more special than the rest of us. Yes there are some instances where personal talent does give legitimacy to a person being worthy of praise. […]

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Fergalicious Sucks At Singing American Anthems

February 20, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

It’s officially time to pack your bags and go home forever when Roseanne Barr believes that she’s better at doing something you’ve made an entire solo career out of. Fergie was invited to sing the national anthem for the NBA All-Star game and failed miserably. She suffered from the same pretentious sickness most singers fall […]

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Stewie Will Probably Come Out As Gay In New Family Guy Episode

February 20, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

As a huge Family Guy fan I have seen every episode about as many times as you would expect a loser to watch them, and even though the past two seasons were obviously written by an Ambien-fueled hamster, I still tune in, because, loser. Producer Rich Appel has revealed to TV Line that an upcoming […]

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Guess That Plastic Surgery Victim

February 20, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

If you’re a celebrity and you don’t look like an hourglass with too much sand in the bottom, should you just kill yourself? This is definitely the look of the moment, and when things change in about two years, look for overflowing landfills thanks to all the discarded ass implants. You might have already seen […]

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Farrah Abraham Found Another Teenage Mother To Pick On

February 20, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Farrah Abraham probably gets passed around more than the newest meme on social media but that hasn’t stopped her from believing that she’s above a gun toting, marijuana cigarette smoking Jenelle Evans. Jenelle is making headlines for a photo her husband David Eason posted of her holding a gun on social media. Feel me up […]

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Jessica Alba Takes The Twins Out At Target

February 20, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Maybe a headline like “Jessica Alba takes her top off at Target” when she was doing films like Honey would have been a reason to rush to see photos. But if you’ve been keeping up with Alba you would know that she gave birth to a baby recently. It always takes a tyke to get […]

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Kourtney Kardashian Reveals Her Weight, People Care

February 20, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Congratulations are in order for Kourtney Kardashian. The Jenndashian brothel mate is apparently one of the stars of Keeping Up With the Prostitutes, but at only five feet tall, she often doesn’t clear the hight needed to be picked up by the cameras. At least this is the best explanation I can think of as to […]

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