Apparently there is something called the Dancing With The Stars Tour where you can pay $150 to see bad stripping while sitting amongst dudes with lengthy sex crime rap sheets. Rumer Willis is on the tour, but apparently unable to dance due to stress fractures in her feet sustained by carrying around the Willis jaw for so many years. She is going to sing instead, so definitely look forward to that. I've always wanted to shell out good money to watch people from reality shows learn things on the job. The tour will run for 40 shows and if you're a fifty year old woman you're more than welcome to get a disdainful photo with some of the cast after. Actually I just made that up they're probably in the showers determining each other's prostate health. I would consider taking my girlfriend if I'd lost all self respect. Failing that I'll take a free ticket from Richard Simmons and promptly be roofied. Why am I putting on this costume? I don't know how to dance.
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