While all you kids were doing your Adderrall and video games and furry cosplay cuddle parties, I was busy writing a book. It’s going to be on Amazon and wherever else books are sold. So, just Amazon. Man Rules. It’s a guide for Millennial Males on how to be men again.
Every generation of men have mocked the generation that came after them. Cro-magnon ragged on Neanderthal for not being upright enough. If that’s even anthropologically the least bit logical. But no matured males have ever so deservingly called out the next generation for being an overly assuming bunch of emotionally trainable pussies.
Our parents walked in the snow to school while we had diesel buses with no seat belts. This new generation has Kiss and Ride and emotionally soothing music and esteem counselors. There were no kisses on the barely functional yellow school bus. Though a entrepreneurial girl named Theresa would kiss your willie for five bucks. She eventually got enough for a bike. That was a happy Kwanzaa that year.
Man Rules may not be for you, but it’s definitely for somebody you know. It’s funny, I hope, and instructive, I hope. And if all else fails, buy a copy, hold it up to the face of the soft-serve Millennial Male in your life and punch him right through it. The matte cover will blend away your knuckle marks. No harm no foul. Don’t less Russia win simply because our Peace Dividend went into participation trophies.
Available soon. Fuck, I know you won’t be able to sleep now.