Hollywood isn't hard to figure out. Picture lemmings. There, you've figured it out.
With Alison Brie's stunning confession that she was asked to show off her bikini top in an early season Entourage casting session, the Wealthy White Women of Hollywood were put on notice. Get your own degrading bikini casting story or you're flying coach to the next Women's March. Emmy Rossum took one whole week.
In defense of every actress who reveals a not terribly tawdry story of industry misogyny, they're invariably in some venue where they're being egged on to say something horrible about the patriarchy. Hollywood is now the game room in The Accused but it's women egging one other women to get in there and get some. Men in the business are splayed across the pinball machine taking it with a tear. The downfall of nature's grand promise in a gang rape metaphor.
At a Shameless press roundtable, Rossum was asked to share her Hollywood sexism stories. The reporter could'ved first asked if Rossum had any such experiences, but cut to the chase. In fact, don't even ask a question anymore, simply shout out, "Sexism... and go!"
Rossum recalled a time when she was a lock for a big film role but the director first insisted he see her in a bikini. Rossum considered the offer until she read the script and realized the character is never in a bikini in the movie. That's some detective work. The director simply wanted to see if she was in good shape. Fucking Hitler. Mixed with Trump. And name a shitty cheating ex-boyfriend.
“[It was like], ‘We really love your work, but we just want to see how tight your [buttocks] is. Are you … kidding me? Last time I checked, I’m not a … model.”
Oh, fuck, the 'actress not a model' drop. Look like that's a real thing if you ever want to fuck a hot woman in New York or Los Angeles. You need not give the same deference to plumbers vs. pipe fitters. They'll fix your shit if you plainly confuse the two. That's the humility afforded a man trying to pay for his kids' braces.
Rossum's gruesome tale of bikini car wash sexism meets all the criteria for a standard oppression in Hollywood tale. A woman making six figures a week valiantly turning down money to stand up to a misdeed that's not exactly supported by the evidence. Zero names or dates or locations or evidence of any kind to verify the complaint. And an actress already making a career at least in good measure off her looks complaining about the superficial bullshit of the business. The trifecta. Not to mention the same treatment is given men, rendering this technically not sexism. Like anybody cares.
Oddsmakers would place the veracity of Rossum's story at 53%. Or 100% as measured by the applause and approval at the Shameless roundtable. Rossum added that she's never had sex with anybody to get ahead in the business. Nobody asked, but why not get that on the record as long as there's no cross-examination. Like coming home late as a teen and telling your parents you were studying at the library and they always believe you. Who wouldn't want to live in that world?
It's hard to imagine there's any other professional endeavor where people so especially rewarded for so little have so many complaints. Okay, NFL kickers. But that's it.
Photo Credit: MrSkin