Thirty-one-year-old Harlem woman Latesha Bynum was taken off life support today after spending nearly two weeks in the hospital due to complications from shady butt injections. On July 15th Bynum succumbed to the pressures to look like the zombified Bratz dolls haunting Instagram feeds everywhere by getting an ass tune-up at a residential building – not a doctor’s office – in Harlem. If Tara Reid has taught us anything it’s that plastic surgery should be cheap and unregulated.
Bynum’s brother Tymel states:
She went to the hospital and couldn’t breathe and whatever was in her went to her head. She was brain dead and she had zero chance to basically come back from it. They had their licenses. They’re supposed to know what they [are] doing, such a tragic incident… That’s murder. Just because the person didn’t pull a trigger, it’s still murder.
He then underlines his thesis statement:
At the end of the day, my sister needs some type of justice — period.
Justice presumably meaning cash money. The family has hired a lawyer, but something tells me suing this butcher for all he’s worth will lead to a Duct-taped pleather sofa, five dollars, and some expired drugs. If you’ve seen five minutes of the local news ever in your life, you’ve already heard what Latesha’s mother Bertie had to say to the NY Daily News following her daughter’s death:
My daughter was murdered. I want to know: Why did they kill my baby? Why did they do that. They wasn’t supposed to do that. You killed a mother, you killed a sister!
Bynum’s visit to the Sweeney Todd of butts occurred 1:00 pm, and ten hours later she called 911 due to severe chest pains. She was pronounced brain-dead shortly after at Mount Sinai St. Luke’s Medical Center. Bynum’s brother claims that her feet turned blue following the injection, and that the trained professional had her take two cold showers before sending her home. Sounds legit.
While an obituary that involves the word “butt” is a pick-me-up, this thing as a whole is just bleak. A woman lost her life and some hack “plastic surgeon” landed himself a cozy spot in hell. Bynum’s desire to have the body of a gross celebrity outweighed rational thinking. Kylie Jenner’s plastic surgeons obviously aren’t talented. But they are accredited. Probably. Dolly Parton famously said: “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.” Just imagine how you’re going to look if your surgery costs less than a meal at Applebee’s.
The victim’s lawyer now says that the fake doctor used a Dunkin’ Donuts as a waiting room, where patients would sit until grabbed by a fake nurse and taken to a fake medical office in Gramercy Park. He adds:
These phony doctors prey on unsuspecting women, promising that they will make them look like Kim Kardashian and other desirable celebrities. Instead, these women end up with gross, debilitating deformities, amputations and, in the worst cases, death.
Desirable. Let’s not get crazy. NYPD Chief of Detectives Robert Boyce states “There is a strong possibility there are going to be arrests,” but not before he’s done with his order at Dunkin’ Donuts.
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