Lil Kim Fingered

You know how when you're not happy with your Airbnb so you bust into the property manager's place with ski masks and guns and demand your money back? Lil Kim and her crew allegedly called on that oldie during the big BET Awards Show weekend in L.A. read more

Suing Your Reps Is Fraught With Peril

In Hollywood, your professional reps and personal assistants are like your family. So, only loyal to the dollar. Assume while you've been drinking most of your adult life, your esteemed ten-percenters have been sober and learning shit about you you wish were still... read more

Time for Susan Boyle to Move

Susan Boyle is that doughy autistic janitor from Scotland who dazzled audiences on Britain's Got Talent in 2009 when she was brought on as the inspirational story to belt out some operatic tunes. Simon Cowell cried, but mostly because Cowell was in the process of fucking... read more

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Trump Ruins Everybody's Ramadan Dinner Plans

Trump detractors view everything through the prism that Trump is racist, sexist, Islamaphobic, homophobic, and a spray painted pumpkin head who struggles for coherent diction. There's only strong evidence of the latter. read more

Aly Raisman Survives Yet Another Body Comment (VIDEO)

Aly Raisman was at the NHL Awards which apparently exist and occur on a Wednesday night in late June when no sports are on presenting an award alongside hockey legend, Marcel Dionne. Dionne is the old guy with the Frenchie accent. He's perfect for the role. Unclear why... read more

Johnny Depp Stone Cold Assassin

In his current physical state, Johnny Depp couldn't assassinate a wingless bee. In his previous physical state, it would've been a fair fight. The bracelet jiggling wino and self-deluded hippy cowboy made an appearance at the Glastonbury arts festival in England where he... read more

NASA Blasts Gwyneth Paltrow, Though Not Into Space

Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop site for women not yet under financial conservatorships is pushing $120 stickers placed on the arm designed to "rebalance the energy frequency in our bodies.” Like a tuning fork to restore the body to optimal electronic frequency. read more

Bill Cosby Beast Mode

Anybody who thought Billy Cosby was going to retreat into a mole like underground existence following his mistrial in his criminal rape case was wrong by a full one-eighty. Cosby and his Fat Albert gang are planning a nationwide series of town hall meetings on sexual... read more

Zayn Malik Seems Uniquely Reasonable

Nobody likes the TSA junior detective kit set up at airports. Even terrorists seeking an eternal heaven can't abide a two hour wait to go bare feet with strangers. Though everybody begrudgingly agrees they don't want to end up on the slamming into a hi-rise end of an... read more

Rebecca Burger Whipped Creamed to Death

Even the attractive social media fitness models among us will die some day. You can only hope the French chicks with nice asses splashed with bidet water will linger longer than the rest. read more

Corinne Olympios' Boyfriend Also Investigating

Corinne Olympios' boyfriend, Jordan Gielchinsky, has issued a qualified unqualified statement of support for the woman he calls his long time friend and girlfriend. read more

Chrissy Teigen Still Talking About Her Womb

The rate of infertility issues among female social media celebrities is roughly one-hundred percent. Reproduction related issues are the last topical refuge of women with nothing else to talk about. read more