Katy Perry In Search of Meaning

Katy Perry's failed, frenetic media blitz for her new album Witness mirrors Lady Gaga's similar thinly-veiled hawking for Artpop. But Gaga has all the soul and vulnerability of a hedge fund manager.  read more

Chrissy Teigen's Butthole Takes Center Stage

Chrissy Teigen continues her relatability tour by divulging information about her asshole to fashion magazine Marie Claire. Only real magazines get the inside butthole scoop. Oversharing is flirty and fun when you're the drunk chick every guy wants to fuck in the... read more

Kylie Jenner Snapchat Doll Parts For The Big Show (VIDEO)

Caricature of distorted feminity Kylie Jenner took to Snapchat to share a glimpse of her life in plastic. Spoiler: Not fantastic. The nineteen-year-old proudly displays her eviscerated youth in a yellow bikini that never thought things would end like this. read more

Bella Thorne Vagina Wide Shut For Scott Disick

Botched starlet Bella Thorne opens wide up to advance her career in a new interview with Complex Magazine. Something she's familiar with. The focal point of the chat between Thorne and someone who thought they nabbed an interview with a sophisticated blow-up sex doll is... read more

Alison Brie Topless Subjugation

Alison Brie spoke up about the objectification of women in the entertainment industry at the ATX Television Festival this weekend. She was pimping out her new Netflix series GLOW when she divulged the lascivious details of her audition for a small part on Entourage... read more

Demi Moore 'Sheared Off' Front Teeth To Stress

Demi Moore, had a lighthearted mental break last night on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. The former celebrity kicked off the interview by acknowledging that she is missing her front teeth due to complications from stress. A cute word for drug addition. Allegedly.... read more

Katy Perry Weekend Confessional For Remaining Fans

Katy Perry crammed a lifetime's worth of publicity stunts into one weekend thanks to the Big Brother-style live stream promotion of her new album Witness. She divulged her suicidal thoughts, best celebrity fucks, and cultural appropriation woes during scheduled interviews... read more

Gwyneth Paltrow the Gathering

Gwyneth Paltrow took a big steaming Goop on eager attendees as her first annual "In Goop Heath Summit" in Los Angeles this weekend. Nobody even flinched at the use of cheap puns for clearly serious medical seminars. read more

Katy Perry Live Stream For Lost Steam (VIDEO)

Katy Perry is live streaming her life on YouTube until Monday. Cameras set up around her house capture the former pop sensation doing everything from sleeping to drinking coffee. With the highlight so far being her intimate rendition of Fireworks while taking a dump in... read more

Aaron Carter 2nd Amendment For Gay Pride

Contrary to popular belief, Aaron Carter did not die in the 2010's due to stage four obscurity or a glue overdose. He's alive and all set to make his presence known to any terrorists that gets in his way. Carter is set to perform at L.A. Pride this weekend where he may or... read more

Kim Kardashian Bikini And Tequila Payday

According to the media, "Kim Kardashian flaunts her famous curves while partying it up with family and friends in the Bahamas to celebrate Kanye West's 40th birthday". According to pimp truth, she's exploiting her centaur ancestry to pimp out George Clooney's tequila... read more

Khloe Kardashian Wasted Lamar Odom Semen

The thirteenth season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians has more twist and turns that Lamar Odom's car when he's driving under the influence. You have to out shock your reality television competition. MTV and Bravo are killing people for real. read more