Demi Lovato Is Totally Bisexual For Kristen Stewart Okay

January 15, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Demi Lovato is an openly fluid bisexual pan-seared queer member of the LGBTQABCXYZ community, and don’t you forget it! The totally open and inclusive starlet sat down with the Peter Pan that unfortunately did age, hard, Ellen Degeneres, to play a classic game of Who’d You Rather featuring the who’s who of bangable celebrities like parking […]

READ MORE

Kris Jenner Furious That People Are Exploiting Kylie Jenner

January 15, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The ability to self-reflect – to truly have a come-to-Jesus with oneself in order to understand both one’s strengths and weaknesses – is alive and well in the Jenndashian household! And if you don’t believe me, just check out these totally self-aware and not at all delusional and sociopathic comments from Madam Kris Jenner regarding […]

READ MORE

Wendy Williams Exploits Insane Person For Crappy Talk Show

January 14, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Wendy Williams, Dr. Phil, Maury Povich, and yes, sorry selfless and brave wearers of Time’s Up pins, even Oprah are all equally guilty of capitalizing on crazy for sensationalistic interviews, and they are all equally guilty of having the nerve to publically drill their test subjects under the guise of benevolence. But rather than extending a […]

READ MORE

Remember Gollum? What He Looks Like Now Will Shock You

January 13, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Sassy and near-death starlet Tara Reid jetted off the Tulum Mexico looking more like Gollum than ever, and made sure to flaunt every part of her melting candle body in multiple hot bikinis. If you like old house cats with bellies that seem completely detached from their bodies, or if you saw E.T. and thought […]

READ MORE

Beast Kardashian Attacks Flash Mob (VIDEO)

January 12, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

That was a close call. New footage that some lucky person sold to Backgrid for too much money shows Beast Kardashian in her natural habitat, where she goes in for the kill to feast on a flash mob incited by Kourtney Kardashian. No fast movements people! Nobody dies in the video, but from sheer Kardashian […]

READ MORE

Rob Lowe And His Vag SLAM Bella Thorne For Mudslide Tweet

January 12, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

I’ve suspected for quite a while that Rob Lowe is the owner of a hot pink pussy, and he all but confirmed this horrifying image yesterday by getting into a Twitter brawl with a twenty-year-old girl. Yes, the girl is botched starlet Bella Thorne, who already has the life experience and overall aesthetic of a […]

READ MORE

Kendall Jenner To Solve World’s Problems With Cupid

January 11, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Well this is a relief for Jessica Chastain, who doesn’t seem to have gotten her global “transformation social change” off the ground quite yet. Fake model and Petree dish face Kendall Jenner has another solution for worldwide peace love and understanding that’s most likely about as realistic as what Chastin is cooking up, and it […]

READ MORE

Ashley Graham Sexually Assaulted At 17 Because She’s Hot

January 11, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

I’ve heard of a tall tale, but a fat one? Read on. A seismologist’s wet dream Ashley Graham has confessed to being a victim of sexual assault at the age of seventeen because like present-day, she was very attractive and had the ability to drive men wild. I want to start being body positive, so that’s […]

READ MORE

Greta Gerwig On Woody Allen: “If I Had Known Then What I Know Now”

January 10, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

“If I had known then what I know now” alert. Self-assessed indie darling Greta Gerwig went from being that girl in Frances Ha – the number one movie recommendation from Netflix’s home screen for the past five thousand years – to being a female-forward progressive adorable stunning brilliant charismatic indie wunderkind and director of the 2018 Golden Globes-winning flick […]

READ MORE

Bella Thorne Sexually Assaulted Until Age Of 14

January 10, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Bella Thorne was sexually abused as a child. This is about as shocking as finding out that Mama Ariel Winter, Crystal with a capital C, whored out her daughter to anyone that would have her from the second she could stand on two feet. With Thorne, it’s more like since the age she could lay […]

READ MORE