DeMario Jackson Crying a Ton

Nothing worse than being accused of sex with a chick too drunk to give consent when you're simply going down on a regular old drunk chick on camera in Mexico. One is shabby and tawdry and reeks of desperation, while the other is a crime. Though not specifically in Mexico... read more

Does Alison Brie Actually Suck Dick?

Websites often formulate headlines as questions in order to capitalize on popular searches for SEO purposes. Assuming that people have either seen Alison Brie in GLOW or read her new interview in Marie Claire, I was debating on anticipating audiences with "Did Alison Brie... read more

UFC Fighter Justine Kish Shits Herself (VIDEO)

UFC fighter Justine Kish was facing off against Felice Herrig in front of a live audience on Sunday when she shit her pants. Kish released her bowels while enduring a move called the killer rear naked choke. read more

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Jessica Biel Exhausted Working Mom

Identity politics is a bitch for Privileged White Women. Theirs has a horrible victimhood rating. It's why upscale white women are the most outraged and adamant about the problems plaguing the other groups.  read more

Lil Kim Fingered

You know how when you're not happy with your Airbnb so you bust into the property manager's place with ski masks and guns and demand your money back? Lil Kim and her crew allegedly called on that oldie during the big BET Awards Show weekend in L.A. read more

Suing Your Reps Is Fraught With Peril

In Hollywood, your professional reps and personal assistants are like your family. So, only loyal to the dollar. Assume while you've been drinking most of your adult life, your esteemed ten-percenters have been sober and learning shit about you you wish were still... read more

Time for Susan Boyle to Move

Susan Boyle is that doughy autistic janitor from Scotland who dazzled audiences on Britain's Got Talent in 2009 when she was brought on as the inspirational story to belt out some operatic tunes. Simon Cowell cried, but mostly because Cowell was in the process of fucking... read more

Trump Ruins Everybody's Ramadan Dinner Plans

Trump detractors view everything through the prism that Trump is racist, sexist, Islamaphobic, homophobic, and a spray painted pumpkin head who struggles for coherent diction. There's only strong evidence of the latter. read more

Heather Graham Reminds Us She's Alive

Heather Graham is either 90's roadkill or one of the few survivors of the garbage decade. Her talents didn't allow for continued mainstream success post-Boogie Nights and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Not that she wasn't a good actress. Graham made people not... read more

Aly Raisman Survives Yet Another Body Comment (VIDEO)

Aly Raisman was at the NHL Awards which apparently exist and occur on a Wednesday night in late June when no sports are on presenting an award alongside hockey legend, Marcel Dionne. Dionne is the old guy with the Frenchie accent. He's perfect for the role. Unclear why... read more

Johnny Depp Stone Cold Assassin

In his current physical state, Johnny Depp couldn't assassinate a wingless bee. In his previous physical state, it would've been a fair fight. The bracelet jiggling wino and self-deluded hippy cowboy made an appearance at the Glastonbury arts festival in England where he... read more

Bella Thorne Working That Disick

At only nineteen years old Bella Thorne has learned that the key to winning the hearts of Americans is fake fucking a Kardashian tangental douchebag. America's Busted Sweetheart was randomly caught by the paps holding hands with Scott Disick while leaving 1 OAK Nightclub... read more