Ghost in the Shell Tanked

The life-action version of Japanese anime cult hit Ghost in the Shell tanked at the box office this weekend. If you bet the opposite, you don't deserve to handle money. read more

'Man Rules' Coming Very Soon (Blatant Self-Promotion)

While all you kids were doing your Adderrall and video games and furry cosplay cuddle parties, I was busy writing a book. It's going to be on Amazon and wherever else books are sold. So, just Amazon. Man Rules. It's a guide for Millennial Males on how to be men again. read more

Women Must Now Register For The Draft

Starting in 2018 women will be required to register for the draft. This is exactly the type of equality we've all been looking for. If young men can be legally forced to participate in unjust wars, they should be on the front lines with young women. This is certainly more... read more

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US Airways Took Social Media To New Heights

One of the fun things about being a person who doesn't spend every waking moment on Twitter is that if someone important tweets something incredibly fucking stupid, which is usually at least once a day, and they delete it almost immediately, there's still a chance that... read more

You're Not the Worst Person In the World, The Shitstain Who Tormented Rebecca Sedwick Is

Zero tolerance policies have really fucked up childhood but good. When we were little snots, we all either were or knew the slightly bad kids in school, the ones who cut in lines or were the first kids to sneak cigarettes or talked back to the teacher. We also knew the... read more

The Redskins Owner Will Fold Eventually

The government shutdown is super fucking boring, so everybody now in Washington has turned their attention to a more important matter, the controversial name of their pretty crappy football team. Redskins is clearly a derogatory terms for Native Americans, something... read more

Amber Alerts Issued on Cell Phones in California

This is the new thing. Sending a loud alert message to millions of phones in the state when kids get snatched up by their angry estranged father or creepy boyfriend their mom met on Craigslist who swore his criminal arrest record for animal cruelty was a youthful... read more

Roman Polanski's Little Girl Rape Victim Is Grown Up and Writing a Book

For some reason people are shocked that Samantha Geimer is using a photo of herself at the age of 13 as the cover image of her autobiography centered heavily around her 1970's rape by director Roman Polanski. Though she was 13 when she was raped and the photo was taken... read more

Asiana Airlines Drops Lawsuit Over Fake Pilot Names

Go figure. Asiana Airlines has changed its tune. They are now accepting KTVU's on-air apology as enough to cancel their defamation lawsuit. It may or may not have to do with the sudden realization of how fucking stupid they looked to everybody else on the planet. Or,... read more

Asiana Airlines Did Not Find Racist Fake Names Funny Ha-Ha, So Suing (VIDEO)

Here's KTVU's apology for their errant news report that the Asiana Airlines crashed plane pilots were named Sum Ting Wong and Ho Lee Fuk and a couple other doozies. I guess it wasn't enough because Asiana is now suing KTVU. Meh, that won't get anywhere and I bet most... read more

The Bulls Finally Get Their Pound of Flesh (VIDEO)

If you don't have a strong stomach, or you root for guys who torment dumb animals and hate to see them trampled and gored, don't watch the video. But, if you do, you might find you're kind of getting into the bull beating these shit out of these Spanish tards. Actually,... read more

News Station Badly Effs Up Names of Crashed Asiana Airline Pilots (VIDEO)

Putting aside the general tragedy of it all, and, with a general apology to idiotic racism, this is pretty fucking funny. Someone in the information chain fed San Francisco news station KTVU the names of the four pilots manning the crashed Asiana Airline plane, and... read more