Eva Longoria Has Some Big Ole Titties And Shit Around The Web

Eva Longoria has still got some amazing tits. They look updated. Though never discount the power of a colonic cleanse. read more

Hillary Clinton Motley Crew

People are excited about a Hillary Clinton presidency they same way they are about a car wash. Let's get this over with. Her ardent supporters are either ill informed or keenly aware that she's a corporate shill whose first order of business will be relaxing some pesky... read more

SAG Awards Super Black

It'd be racist to call the SAG Awards super black, except every single black actor in the universe noted it themselves in speeches and via Twitter. Idris Elba won an award for being super good looking and black and declared 'welcome to diverse TV'. Diverse being the code... read more

Advertisement
Eva Longoria Going Gay

Eva Longoria and a bunch of other righteous souls are taking part in a French artist's photo exhibit featuring straight people pretending to be gay and in love because maybe with a French accent it has some discernible benefit: The celebrities that I shot are... read more

Eva Longoria Isn't Your G-D Housekeeper

Eva Longoria suffers for her art. Like the fact people mistakenly call her Eva Mendes merely because both are 40 year old attractive Latin actresses who are often in the same place at the same time. Also, obviously, racism. Ellen not long ago on her show thought Pink's... read more

Eva Longoria in A Bikini

Eva Longoria spends a good deal of time reminding people that Latinos matter. Just in case you'd forgotten. She means Latinos in television mostly, not the ones who pick the grapes. We all agree they don't matter and Eva wants her produce as cheap as the next vegetarian.... read more

Eva Longoria Also Had an Epic Response, So Epic, Her Vagina Inhaled Her Pants

Eva Longoria chastised journalists of the lifestyle section of an Australian newspaper for claiming she pretends to need glasses simply to push some designer eyewear to not necessarily Hispanic women at the 99-Cent store. If you had done your journalistic duty (it's... read more

Eva Longoria in A Bikini

Eva Longoria has an enviable life. Especially if you like rich Latin dick. I mean rich as in wealthy, not tasty. That seems rather subjective. In the upcoming edition of InStyle magazine, Eva declares she wants to be the next George Clooney. If she meant fucking tons of... read more

Eva Longoria Compares Trump to Hitler

In an ingeniously clever bit of rhetoric, Eva Longoria deftly invoked the specter of Adolf Hitler when discussing Donald Trumps remarks about Mexico pushing their rapists and drug dealers across the border into the U.S. In an instant, the entire domain of people with... read more

Advertisement
Eva Longoria in A White String Bikini

The sooner you teach your kids that smiling for the public then being a monster in private is the winning formula, the sooner you can assure they aren't living in their football banner covered rooms at twenty-eight. If animals could speak, you'd hear them giving this... read more

Eva Longoria's New Movie Must Really Suck (VIDEO)

Eva Longoria appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live for a haphazard cooking segment designed to promote her new illegal immigration themed movie that absolutely nobody will ever see. Publicists who think in precisely two dimensions got the bright idea for Eva to cook a Mexican... read more

Eva Longoria Rides Her Bike Looking for Cock

Eva Longoria is pretty genius. You wouldn't know from hearing her mind numbing political platitudes. But just like a sinister dude, she set up a whole reality dating show with NBC last year so she could cast a bunch of super hot male model dudes in her dating range, one... read more