More Melania Hate, It Must Be Her Amazing Tits (VIDEO)

Hollywood is beyond pissed that Hillary Clinton is not coronating into the White House in January. It's deep and furious and building up pressure like a toilet jammed with the used tampons of glass ceiling victims. read more

Gigi Hadid Has Some Hot Legs And Shit Around The Web

Gigi Hadid has better legs than her sister Bella and her face has expression too. If that's your thing. I could go either way. Uninterrupted mannequin gaze is underrated on the fairer sex. read more

Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid Meta Plastic

W magazine put out a photo spread of young models Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid where the celebrity offspring had obviously Photoshopped limbs and features. The outraged on Twitter who are neither paid by the hour or post quickly noted the absence of kneecaps and body... read more

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Gigi Hadid Boxing For Reebok

Gigi Hadid continues to have a weird looking face nobody will talk about because everybody's collecting too much cash. Sometimes the gorilla in the room only weighs a buck twenty and everybody's pretending a genetic spasm is a fresh new look. All the power to her after... read more

Gigi Hadid Handled (VIDEO)

It's all shits and giggles when discussing the ridiculous lives and mentalities of young celebrity models. But you can't touch. That's where the First Amendment ends. Or whatever they call it in Italy. Probably something that sounds profound but has little support among... read more

Gigi Hadid In A Sexy Swimsuit And Shit Around The Web

Everybody has their favorite Hadid sister (or mother). This is the one without Lyme disease. Take that into consideration when selecting the one you'll be imagining as your girlfriend this late evening. Lyme disease will make your dick fall off. read more

What's the Opposite of a Sausage Party? (Hint: Taylor Swift Loves Girls)

Taylor Swift only had the most awesome Fourth of July party ever because it didn't include stupid boys. Boys will say anything to try to put their diddle sticks inside your special flowers. It's just heartbreak. Girl power to the tune of two hundred million dollars. In... read more

Bella Hadid Tit Trumps Her Sister Gigi

Call your older sister and agree to dress down for your dinner out in Manhattan. The fake Lyme disease has sharpened your mind like a steel trap. Take her moves and turn them against her. She's dating that dude from One Direction. You get yourself into the Weeknd. read more

Kendall Jenner Punches A Paparazzi

This is it. The net result of a decade and a half of neocon foreign policy and playing policeman to the world. Kendall Jenner punched a Frenchman. Right in his obnoxious. The guy was a photographer who got into her safe space after a night of Parisian clubbing and she... read more

Gigi Hadid And Kendall Jenner Hand Bras

Your tits are so much bigger than mine. Oh. stop it, I wish I had perfect little boobs like you. We're both perfect. Let's touch ourselves and giggle. Why is your mom taking our picture? Of course I trust her not to sell them. She's my mom. [gallery guid=801427] read more

GIgi Hadid Tit Falls Out For Versace

Those sad eyes speak to the only daughter in a family not anointed with celebrity lyme disease by her aging model matriarch. Why mama? Where is my tragical asymptomatic ailment? A Cinderella story that concludes with this steel blue eyed shark rolling her eyes back in... read more

Gigi Hadid Focused

The dead eyes on this chick render her the perfect model for any occasion. High fashion, swimsuit, a skin quilt of flayed Jews hanging in the basement of a career climbing imam. Unflappable hundred mile stare. It's as if she knows something, though we know she doesn't.... read more