Country Club Ceases Discrimination Against American Patriot

Tom Brady is all about equal opportunity oppression. It isn't just for minorities anymore. Wait. Can you culturally appropriate oppression? read more

Gisele Bundchen Rebuffed

Gisele Bundchen went on CBS this morning while still drunk on mimosas and claimed Tom Brady suffered a concussion which was unattended to, a sort of conspiracy theory minus the interesting part. It looks increasingly like this was a total fabrication and that Brady simply... read more

Gisele Bundchen Vacations In A Thong Bikini And Shit Around The Web

Gisele Bundchen let's us see that thong in Italy. She's never been a crazy attractive woman but she perfected how to be anorexic without looking sickly. That's a breakthrough in the objectification of women sciences. read more

Gisele Bundchen Still Earning

If you ever had a hint of being rich, sell women's clothing. It's the biggest legal market out there not involving digging deep into the earth's mantle. Unless you've got a big fucking shovel, sell pants to chicks. read more

Gisele Bundchen Topless for $700

The line starts behind me for Gisele Bundchen's 20th anniversary photo memoirs. The Brazilian model retired from runway modeling earlier this year though continues to pose for pay for magazines, advertisements, and that earnest sounding guy on Craigslist who can only... read more

Gisele Bundchen Recovers From Tit Job

Gisele Bundchen wore a burqa to disguise herself while getting new tits in Paris, which was a dead giveaway because her exposed ankles said Brazilian whore all the way. She also got her eyes done and most likely mused on having Nazi parents with the surgeon played... read more

Gisele Bundchen Finds Solace

Following her husband smashing his cellphone with a sledgehammer and then smirking about it while playing the victim, Gisele pretended to do yoga with her "Soul sister" on Instagram. The problem with fulling lesbianing out is you have to be buzzed and only half the party... read more

Gisele Bundchen And Tom Brady Vacation Like You and Me

Gisele and Tom Brady own a solid chunk of Coastal Central America now. They orange oiled out all the annoying monkeys so their childcare staff would be safe from rabies. They might also be re-animating fossilized dinosaur bones. You can do stupid shit when you're filthy... read more

Gisele Bundchen Grateful

Gisele Bundchen posted a photo of herself looking svelte with the words "Grateful" written in the sand by a professional. This is thought to be in reference to her impending retirement from modeling. Bundchen will celebrate with an extra rice cake and a toast of Fen Phen... read more

Gisele Bundchen Is Discreet

Gisele earned $47 million last year according to Forbes and is annoyed they wrote an article about it. She attempted to vaguely minimize the details of the story: "It's sad, because the people who write these things don't have my bank account details." What's in your... read more

Gisele Bundchen Naked and Powerful

Gisele Bundchen made Forbes list of the world's most powerful women. I'm not sure what the voting criteria is, but it's safe to say this is a list that means you're the premium blend. You're riding in the same VIP car with Hilary Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres, and Oprah. If... read more

Gisele Bundchen Models Bikinis For 2014 H&M

Photo Credit: H&M [gallery guid=803969] read more