Lindsay Lohan Loves Gains

Lindsay Lohan’s most notable accomplishments after fame has been attempting to sell selfies, randomly converting to Islam, defending Harvey Weinstein, and now romantically involving herself with a wealthy Korean bodybuilder. read more

Lindsay Lohan Feels Left Out

When all the sexual harassment victims told Lindsay Lohan she couldn’t sit with them at the #MeToo table because her harassment was so last season she took the burn book route. read more

Lindsey Lohan No GOOP

People won't even pay for porn anymore, but Lohan believes that she can get people to pay to look at her with clothes on.  read more

Lindsay Lohan Invites Beyoncé To Her Birthday Party

The woman who fell through the cracks of society and then got gnawed on by sewer rats before being flushed out to sea "has major plans for her upcoming birthday!" according to news sites. Lindsay Lohan took to Twitter to send out a birthday invite to Paris Hilton, Britney... read more

Police Force Lindsay Lohan to Return Shit She Stole from Her Ex

Lindsay Lohan continues to state that her former young and wealthy Russian boyfriend Egor Tarabasov abused her during their time together. It's unclear if the abuse was before or after Lohan went out of her way to describe Tarabasov as far superior to any man she'd been... read more

Paul Allen Hosts A Has-Been Boat Party

Only billionaires can afford custom built luxury yachts because only billionaires can afford to lose tens of millions of dollars a year in operating cost and depreciation. Even Jennifer Lawrence finally being paid the same as her male co-stars could at best afford a... read more

Lindsay Lohan Backs Trump and Islam

Lindsay Lohan comes from with a message of peace. Allahu Akbar. Lohan's been studying the sacred text as she Lord Jim's her way ever Eastward escaping humiliating events and landlords of her past. read more

Lindsay Lohan Maybe Turning Muslim

Rumors are going around that Lindsay Lohan may have converted to Islam, although she's probably just trying to marry one of the several rich Arab guys she's fucking. read more

Lindsay Lohan Refugee Plight

Lindsay Lohan has been banging some Turkish dude who is paying her and in the process hitting up a bunch of refugee camps to fill some sort of void. Unfortunately she's still talking. read more

Lindsay Does Dubai

Lindsay Lohan has made Dubai her new home. It was hard for her to officially leave England, until the eviction notices from the apartment her previous boyfriend was paying on her behalf started being taped to her door. read more

Lindsay Lohan Shockingly Only 30

Lindsay Lohan is officially the youngest cougar on earth. It's almost like in porn where they only have teens and milfs. Certainly there should be an in between but apparently not. You just leap from one to the other. read more

Lindsay Lohan Forgets Christmas

Here's something to consider when apologizing to a town in London where you forgot to show up to light the central square Christmas tree, don't send your apologies in an Instagram video from Bali. read more