the top 10 stories of 2009

10. KELLY BROOK IS PHOTOGENIC - this picture was the topic of some heated debate around the office while making the Top 100 list, with many feeling it should be the number 1 story of the year. Of course I'm the only one who works here, so it was mostly my penis taking a... read more

morning headlines

BOX OFFICE – “Knowing” beat “I Love You Man” and “Duplicity” to open at number one this weekend.  They made 24.8, 18 and 14.4 million.  It’s thought “Love” was hurt by the NCAA basketball tournament, because they share a similar audience, whereas optimistic Nic Cage fans... read more

saturday headlines

METALLICA – in a club that held little more than two thousand people. Metallica played a surprise one-hour show at the SXSW festival in Austin last night.  Lead singer James Hetfield said, "Here is the grass roots. Here is the basis of why we like music. Artists getting... read more

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oh good, it gets worse

A number of questions are beginning to surface concerning Natasha Richardson and the care she received in the hours leading to her death.  Hey look, an easy to read timeline that explains what I mean but took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out and do:12:30pm... read more

morning headlines

PRESIDENT OBAMA – the President has formally apologized for a joke he made on “the Tonight Show” last night (video), when he compared his bowling to “the Special Olympics or something.”  Although in his apology he said, “at least you guys play sports instead of faggin off... read more

the first ambulance was turned away

Breitbart News says today that the first ambulance called to help Natasha Richardson after the fall that led to her death was turned away, presumably at her request, because at the time she showed no signs of injury.  Another ambulance was called later but by then it was... read more

liam neeson releases a statement

Definitively putting an end to any and all rumors, a representative for Liam Neeson released this statement to Us magazine at 8:01pm est. "Liam Neeson, his sons, and the entire family are shocked and devastated by the tragic death of their beloved Natasha.  They are... read more

1963 - 2009 (update)

Longtime New York Post columnist Liz Smith says Natasha Richardson was taken off life support at 1:30pm in New York City.  She is survived by her husband Liam Neeson and thier two sons. (this morning Fox 411 had a story essentially saying that Richardson was almost... read more

morning headlines

Because this is the most your bipolar ass can focus on first thing in the morning.NATASHA RICHARDSON – Natasha is now in a NYC hospital but a family friend says, “There is no chance.  It is a fact that her heart is beating but she is brain dead.”  Doctors say it is... read more

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this is not going well

OK! magazine now says...In a devastating turn of events, OK! has learned that Natasha Richardson has died after suffering a fatal brain injury while skiing in Canada.  A source close to the actress's family confirms to OK! exclusively that Richardson, 45, was considered... read more

oh no - crappy 2nd update

Jeez this is sad, but the New York Post said 30 minutes ago that Natasha Richardson's seemingly harmless skiing accident has left her brain dead, and she will be flown back home to New York today so her family and friends can say goodbye before she’s taken off life... read more

morning headlines

TITTIES - I don’t know which college humor editor got dumped by Amanda, but matching her against Brittany in this bikini contest really can’t be considered anything other than sarcastic.  She would have a better chance playing tennis against Roger Federer, even if someone... read more