Scarlett Johansson Drowning in Rich White Girl Problems

The prep for all female celebrities being interviewed for intellectually rich outlets such as Cosmopolitan involves sitting down with your team and assessing hot button issues for women in the news. Pick two or three, rehearse a response, and hope the interviewer asks you... read more

Scarlett Johansson Tonguing Colin Jost

Last Saturday marked the final episode of one of Saturday Night Live’s most successful seasons in years. The cast celebrated with a wrap party at Rockefeller Center. Guest star Scarlett Johansson celebrated by exploring the inside of Weekend Update host Colin Jost with... read more

Scarlett Johansson Calls Out Ivanka Trump

Scarlett Johansson isn’t happy with Ivanka Trump. The actress spoke with Arianna Huffington at the Women in the World Summit in New York City where women and the beta males who serve them assembled to drink water out of mugs made from repurposed human waste.  read more

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Ghost in the Shell Tanked

The life-action version of Japanese anime cult hit Ghost in the Shell tanked at the box office this weekend. If you bet the opposite, you don't deserve to handle money. read more

Mr. Skin Minute Features Scarlett Johansson Out of Her 'Shell'

Mr. Skin gives us the only Scarlett Johansson clips we really care about! read more

Scarlett Johansson Eying Politics

Scarlett Johansson told Michael Strahan she'd consider turning her public abortion confessions and Ivanka Trump impersonations into a full time elected office gig after her daughter is older and if she's still between additional future marriages. read more

Scarlett Johansson Battling for Custody

Scarlett Johansson made it clear she will be providing zero public commentary to her ongoing divorce and child custody proceedings with husband, Romain Dauriac. She's asked that the media follow suit for the sake of her two year old. The media responded by unanimously... read more

Scarlett Johansson Still Not Quite Apologizing

Now that she's split from yet another gay husband, Scarlett Johansson has time for course correcting the racial and gender thinking of the lesser evolved world. There's a time for lecturing and there's a time for apologizing. Any decent moralist is a dual threat.   read more

Scarlett Johansson Working Mom

It's cool to be compassionate, but don't tell Holocaust survivors you understand their plight because you once manned a pizza oven. People don't like it when you hang out with them so you can put it on your resume. read more

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A Day Without a Woman

Organizers of the Women's March are scheduling a one-day general strike for the women of this nation. It's unclear how many women will participate, but one-percent of the gender would be spoke of in spin class circles for generations to come. read more

Scarlett Johansson 'Ghost In The Shell' Whitewash

People who don't want their failed run of unintelligent politically correct epitaphs to end merely because the election is over are now criticizng the casting of Scarlet Johansson in the lead role of naked chick in the Japanese classic Manga, Ghost in the Shell. read more

Black Widow Laments More Women Don't Have Amazing Box Office Breasts

Scarlett Johansson was named to a largely bogus list of top box office grossing stars in Hollywood, the only woman in the Top 10. The Box Office Mojo list is based upon the ticket take of all the movies you've appeared in, not necessarily starred in, so it's mostly bad... read more