Farrah Abraham Won’t Take Porn Shame Bent Over; Lawsuit

February 22, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lawsuits, porn, stripper gigs in the city of sin, and property sales usually signify that a star is at the end of their line. Next stop on the Farrah fail train is back to being a pedestrian and she’s fighting to ride her psuedo celebrity status just a little bit longer. To Abraham, when the […]

READ MORE

Jennifer Aniston Photographed Suicidal Over Lack Of Penis

February 22, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Well, it’s started. Jennifer Aniston might be an internationally famous multi-millionaire, but first and foremost she is a women, and according to TMZ she just can’t handle the fact that she doesn’t have a penis in her vagina. The miserable barren old bag of crap was photographed leaving Grauman’s Chinese Theater where she attended the premiere of […]

READ MORE

R Kelly Booted From Both Houses Of Booty

February 22, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I believe if you’re in the market for renting a new residence the realtor agent isn’t bound by law to disclose if there was a violent murder on the property or if the neighbors happen to be terrible people. They’re also not under any obligation to release information about the questionable activities of the previous […]

READ MORE

Frankel My Dear I Don’t Give A Damn

February 22, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Bethenny Frankel is ninety-five-years-old and has had a kid, and still manages to have, technically, a pretty amazing beach bod that she often gets credit for in the headlines. Never mind the fact that her face looks like it belongs on the shrunken head of Maria Shriver. Bethenny’s body looks good, and she doesn’t even […]

READ MORE

Blac Chyna’s Leaked Sex Tape Scoring Low On Rotten Tomatoes

February 22, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m having a hard time believing that Blac Chyna, a stripper who has been on video with a beer bottle in her butt, is so appalled over a leaked sex tape that she needs an official investigation until a perp is apprehended. I’m hoping the only one that ends up in cuffs is Blac Chyna. […]

READ MORE

John Legend Should Have Used Lyft

February 21, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Finding a cab driver that’s a decent individual is a harder task than Rebel Wilson trying to find her clitoris under all those extra flaps of fat around her vaginal area. I’ve been rooting for the entire cab industry to fail since the introduction of Uber and Lyft. I rarely complain about things but the […]

READ MORE

Jared Leto – Justin Timberlake Stole My Bustier

February 21, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Any man who has ever gotten a blow out should never be trusted, and any man who suddenly makes Jared Leto’s fashion choices look age-appropriate and not-douchebag-y should probably think about ending his own life. It’s time Justin. It’s time. Justin Timberlake is a known asshole in the industry and during his recent Super Bowl […]

READ MORE

Karla Souza’s Mexico Rape Experience

February 21, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The only thing worse than being in Mexico is being raped in Mexico, and in an interview with CNN, How to Get Away With Murder actress Karla Souza alleged that she endured just that while shooting a movie at the beginning of her acting career. The native Mexican had the true Cancun Spring Break experience shared […]

READ MORE

Natalie Portman’s Creative “Woke” Woody Allen Spin

February 21, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Since pretty much every actor and actress in Hollywood has kissed the ring slipped onto the crepey blotched hand of Woody Allen over the six decades that he has been directing five good movies and three-hundred terrible ones, pretty much every actor or actress in Hollywood must face questioning regarding his sexual misconduct because this […]

READ MORE

Jennifer Lawrence Wants To Have Sex With Timotheé Chalamet

February 21, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

My co-workers and I just had a rousing conversation hypothesizing what could be going on in Jennifer Lawrence’s head right now, because she’s obviously on the cusp of a mental breakdown, and we settled on either tail-end-of-America’s-sweetheart-status syndrome or Adderall. Or of course both. The twenty-seven-year-old is hitching herself to the Timotheé Chalamet bandwagon by describing […]

READ MORE