Fate Of Future Innovation In The Hands Of Amber Heard

January 3, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Failed relationships have the power to ruin people forever. Amber Heard wrecked Johnny Depp and now she’s after Elon Musk who also just happens to be humanity’s last hope. 

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Harry Potter Franchise Defends Depp

December 2, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

All men are no longer allowed to make mistakes and must be on their P’s and Q’s when it comes to their colleague’s T and A.

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Feminists Posing as Potterheads Want Depp Banished

November 20, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Johnny Depp is poised to have a significant role in the upcoming sequel to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them as feminists posing as Harry Potter fans are insisting he be sacked.

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Amber Heard No Longer Bisexual

November 15, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The last thing I want to hear right before I de-pants my date at the end of the day is her disclosing that she’s unsure if she’s really into men or not. Believing that I would up for that kind of buffoonery will get you kicked out of whichever 2-star motel next to a Denny’s I just rented.

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Lily James Smells Great and Shit Around the Web

October 9, 2017 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments

Sexy stars in robes, boob tube nudity, and more!

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Demi Lovato Accentuates Her Cleavage and Shit Around the Web

September 12, 2017 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments

Hot girls smoking weed, Adrienne Bailon on vacation, and more!

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Amber Heard Chaz Bono Back On

August 12, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The thirty-one-year-old Heard is coming off of a complex relationship with the back of Johnny Depp’s hand and might find security and stability in the arms of someone who looks like a potato. His billions can’t hurt. The Tesla founder finds that although Heard is expensive, you can get a lot of mileage out of her. 

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Amber Heard Loses Another Billionaire

August 7, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

When you’re a billionaire, there are a billion reasons to break up. There’s no limit in relationships when you can buy love and women.

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Suing Your Reps Is Fraught With Peril

June 26, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In Hollywood, your professional reps and personal assistants are like your family. So, only loyal to the dollar. Assume while you’ve been drinking most of your adult life, your esteemed ten-percenters have been sober and learning shit about you you wish were still secret. 

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