Elisabetta Canalis Date For Hire

February 20, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

This old Austrian billionaire might just be my hero. He just married that German blowup doll one-quarter his age to be his regular pecker wetter, but he’s still doling out the 500K paychecks to get celebrity chicks in low cut dresses to be his date to the big opera events. I don’t think he gets […]

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Elisabetta Canalis in A White Bikini

July 16, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I can’t help but feel George Clooney missed out on this one. I know models like to talk about scarves and plot revenge against the bitch that stole their mascara and stare at dots on the walls for hours wondering if they’re bugs. But that’s a good, simple companion. Like a cocker-spaniel that has great […]

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Elisabetta Canalis Topless On A Boat

July 8, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I often mock Europe. I just did. Fuck them and their green pants. But they do have this topless sunbathing thing down. Not the public beaches where the large German ladies roll about like beached manatees smoking unfiltered Camels. All the hot women are on the boats taking off their tops. You want to see […]

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Elisabetta Canalis In Lingerie

June 24, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Look at this, George Clooney. This was your girlfriend a couple or three model girlfriends ago. Look at her, dammit. I don’t care about your fancy I Heart U Obama parties or how Brad Pitt comes to your sleepovers or when you grab some basketball players and blather about the Sudan, like that’s a real […]

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Elisabetta Canalis In A Bikini

September 4, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

This is the second girl today that George Clooney has nailed that we get to see in a bikini. Which should only serve to remind you that checking out a hot model in a bikini is a sad sorry second place to having sex with a hot model. Lots of inspirational type folks would tell […]

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Elisabetta Canalis Shows Us Her Good Side

August 7, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

I always thought it would be pretty hard to forget the fact that model Elisabetta Canalis followed up her relationship with George Clooney by dating Steve-o (twice), because that’s not a step down. That’s walking out the front door and stepping off the Grand Canyon. But then, I just forgot all about it, because I’m […]

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Elisabetta Canalis In A Bikini

July 19, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If anyone ever doubted that a man’s first choice in ladies is always whoever’s next, you need only look at Elisabetta Canalis. Or I guess now Stacy Keibler, who was next after Elisabetta before Stacy got ‘nexted’ herself by Clooney. Keibler said something along the lines of she and Clooney still remaining friends. Which is […]

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Sacha Baron Cohen murdered Elisabetta Canalis on a yacht in Cannes today

May 17, 2012 | bikini | Brendon| 0 Comments

What started out as an erotic afternoon of ass rubbing between Sacha Baron Cohen and Elisabetta Canalis ended in tragedy today after Cohen showed his penis to Canalis. The Italian supermodel began to laugh and seemed to think it was small, despite his reassurances that his penis is actually quite enormous. Tensions escalated when she […]

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