Robert Patterson Drying His Tears on Katy Perry

October 18, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

If you wanted to make your ex jealous you should have dated Katy Perry right after Kristen. Katy Perry looks down to do everything Kristen wouldn’t in bed. She’s even into girls too and looks like the type that’s all too eager to share. 

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T-Pain Commits Cardinal Sin

April 2, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

T-Pain not so considerately joked that Robert Pattinson had proposed to the over accessorized avatar who calls herself FKA Twigs. A tear ridden conversation no doubt ensued once she heard the news as she proceeded to continuously ask if this was because of her thighs. There are a few things in life you don’t do. Joking […]

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FKA Twigs Seems Super Interesting

January 7, 2015 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Robert Pattinson’s flail wielding Road Warrior girlfriend posed naked for V Magazine. How does this bitch travel? I find it a pain in the ass to take my belt off at Airport Security, let alone remove a stud from my perineum. FKA Twigs’ name is Tahliah. A fine name for a person and even a pop […]

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FKA Twigs in a Bikini

December 10, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

As far as beards go, you could do worse than picking a pubescent looking chick with a childish stage name. Outside of asking for money to go to the mall, she’s mostly going to leave you alone to work on your acoustic guitar riffs and snapchats with Hugh Jackman about the craft. At some point […]

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FKA Twigs Does Art Basel

December 5, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Robert Pattinson’s new girlfriend performed in Miami reminding everybody that Robert Pattinson is an edgy dude who likes complicated women, clearly not a closeted gay man building asexual relationships with emotional disturbed girls. She’s British and has a funky stage name which makes her work inherently more interesting that somebody with a plain name who […]

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Twilight Fans Are Racist And Shit Around The Web

September 29, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

The 14-year-old obese girls and closeted men who love Twilight are attacking Robert Pattinson’s new beard because she’s black. He’s “dating” the stupidly named FKA Twigs and Twilight fans have been harassing her with racist comments. It’s always sad when the ugliness of racism arises for no apparent reason. It’s slightly less sad when a […]

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