Amy Schumer Cinched Up But Good for ‘Snatched’

May 11, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Snatched is the perfect movie for testing the nature of your relationship with your significant other. Specifically, what do you get for agreeing to see this movie? Anything less than the Leviticus trashing thing you’ve always talked about but she’s not been willing to do and you will kick yourself for being a shitty deal maker.

 

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Amy Schumer Called To Task for Plantation Yucks (VIDEO)

October 25, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Eventually, the politically correct eat their own. It’s the Hungry Hungry Hippos Theory of self-righteous consumption. If the process happened with any expediency, the snowflakes would melt faster than they’re falling. It’s not. The drifts are growing.

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Goldie Hawn Sensational If Not Crusty

June 18, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nobody looks great mostly naked at seventy. Rich men can still get laid at advanced ages by sheer artifice, but nature didn’t intend old people to be sexually desirable. Lemon parties being the prime example of denying nature’s structured tapestry. People magazine declared Goldie Hawn to be looking sensational in Hawaii. There’s not a single honest sentence in People. But middle aged women need porn too.

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Bill Hudson Still Finding His Dad Rhythm

July 1, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Oliver Hudson mocked his absentee bio-dad on Father’s Day by calling it Happy Abandonment Day and posting a kid picture of himself and his sister Kate Hudson and Bill Hudson who fucked Goldie Hawn at a party in 1976 and had to marry her. Their marriage lasted one more kid plus a couple months before […]

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Kate Hudson And Goldie Hawn in Bikinis

June 18, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Goldie Hawn seems constantly in motion. It may have something to do with what happens to her skin during standstill. She may slurry back into her periodic table elements. Hawn seems like a good mom who doesn’t judge her daughter for showing up with a different musician and a different baby every year on the […]

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Goldie, Kate and Donatella Ready to Wear

January 26, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s a matter of opinion as to who among the group of girlfriends is the one staying home on Saturday night, but I’ll randomly bet behind the one who resembles a Tim Burton stop-motion character. Goldie Hawn insisted on accredited university degrees for the dude who slices her up on the regular. Her daughter only […]

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Goldie Hawn Still Knows How To Party

March 5, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

If 81-year old Kim Novak hadn’t shown up to the Academy Awards as a presenter, looking like a villain from Joel Schumacher’s horrible Batman films and struggling to get through the script on the teleprompter, more people would probably be talking about Goldie Hawn‘s appearance. Or maybe not, because the 68-year old has a tendency […]

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