Jessica Alba Is the Future of Attractive Women

January 2, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The story of Jessica Alba does not bode well for seeing famous attractive women naked or nearly naked all over social media and magazines in the future. So, a tragic tale.

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Gwyneth Paltrow, Woman, Shall Never Compete With Other Women

November 20, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow attended a Bumble app related event that encourages women to work together and network as if gossiping and backstabbing weren’t embedded in most women’s DNA. Has no one seen that show Bad Girls Club? Reality TV based on common occurrences.

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Demi Rose Teardrop Cleavage and Shit Around the Web

October 26, 2017 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments

Celebs in the pumpkin patch, horror movie hotties, and more!

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Jessica Alba Likely Already Dead

January 18, 2017 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Assuming a large upper arm tattoo takes some careful planning and premeditation for a life together, you have to be shaking deep in your soul when a random cop rolls up to show off a mega-tat of you he has on his bicep.

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Jessica Alba in A Bikini

January 3, 2017 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Jessica Alba’s new guise as concerned mom pushing chemical free household products that may or may not make your baby’s genitals look like Aleppo is keeping her from showing off her tits as through most of her 20’s.

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Jessica Alba, Tech Mentor

September 2, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Apple is developing unscripted TV shows now because why not. They’re first show out of the gate will be completely rogue. A staged reality competition called Planet of the Apps where people make apps for the iPhone.

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Jessica Alba Nipples Mean Six More Weeks of Honest

August 25, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’m no investment guru. I’m into my bank savings account at zero-point-three percent. I earned nine dollars in interest last year against forty two dollars in banking fees.

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Jessica Alba Keeps the Day Job

August 23, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When life gives you lemons, add some sodium lauryl sulfate and call it all-natural lemonade. Jessica Alba’s Honest Company continues to be dogged by largely nuisance lawsuits because maybe her precious-for-baby household products contain a dash or two of that shit in Alien blood that burns through multiple levels of spaceships hulls.

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Jessica Alba Bikini Perfection And Shit Around The Web

July 19, 2016 | crap around the web | michael-garcia| 0 Comments

Billion dollar IPOs and all-natural product fraud cases come and go, what lingers in life is your ability to give tons of men raging boners. At least until forty. Jessica Alba knows precisely how to hedge her bets.

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