Katie Cassidy in A Bikini Some More

December 24, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s something about a chick in a bikini with 80’s reflective Playmate sunglasses that just screams pre-AIDS American sexual mores. Some men love chicks with tiny tops. Some guys also love knocking three times on the last stall to the left in the freeway rest stop men’s room and asking if Tony’s home. They’re not […]

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Katie Cassidy in A Bikini

December 22, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

People like to mock Hollywood chicks who get implants and simultaneously deride the few who don’t. I just want to get laid. The time to consider whether or not the super flat chest on your girlfriend makes you feel like the protagonist in a Todd Haynes movie is after sex. I know The Rock has […]

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Katie Cassidy in A Bikini

April 20, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

David Cassidy might be a train wreck, but he had the sense to knock a baby into a 1970’s model and produce Katie. I can’t believe I’ve never once clicked onto the CW network. Even if just during one of my many PTSD disassociations. I once tried to eat a turtle. It’s an issue of […]

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Fetish Art Giant Bella Thorne And Katie Cassidy

February 24, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I don’t know why this amuses me so. This dude Photoshops images of young Hollywood chicks as godzillas coming ashore to terrorize the puny humans. I don’t know if this is a commentary on the over-emphasized power of celebrity or just a chance to imagine a four story tall vagina where Ellen summers. It’s a […]

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Katie Cassidy in a Green Bikini

December 23, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I prefer the girls whose day jobs don’t involved walking around the beach in a bikini waiting for nuclear arms dealers with eye patches to ask them to be their evil Bond movie villainess. They don’t look completely carefree about having their privates a simple loosened clasp away from exposure to men and Carmen Miranda […]

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Somebody Get Katie Cassidy a Thong

May 6, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Fuck it, Kate Cassidy, if you’re not going to try I’m not going to try. I’m taking back my 70’s porn star belly chain and either your bikini top or bottom, whichever ones don’t match, and I’m going home. You’ll be left exposed, un-jeweled around your torso, and everybody will mistake you for the cheese […]

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Katie Cassidy Is a Fashion Disaster

May 1, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Fuck, Keith Partridge’s daughter is back. She got rid of all the bling, but that mismatched bikini, wow, it wouldn’t be a stretch for the Style Police to arrest her for that faux pas. Smackdown. Casting shade. Fuck, she confuses me. As this world continues to close down titty magazines and open up ten more […]

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Katie Cassidy Looks Complicated

April 30, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’ve been staring at these photos of Keith Partridge’s daughter trying to figure out if they’re sexy or not. You can froget the letters about how she’s out of my league. That’s hardly a standard. David Cassidy himself during a DUI arrest mug shot is out of my league. But Katie. I don’t know. I […]

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Katie Cassidy, The Partridge Family Bus, and Five Minutes Alone Time

April 9, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I bet for some of you whacking it to Keith Partridge’s daughter is somewhat off-putting. Meh, everybody is somebody’s daughter. You can’t hang yourself in Fantasyland. Now, if you’re imagining Keith watching you do his girl in the back of the Partridge Family bus while Shirley Jones disapprovingly taps her tambourine — welcome to my […]

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