Kris Jenner Furious That People Are Exploiting Kylie Jenner

January 15, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The ability to self-reflect – to truly have a come-to-Jesus with oneself in order to understand both one’s strengths and weaknesses – is alive and well in the Jenndashian household! And if you don’t believe me, just check out these totally self-aware and not at all delusional and sociopathic comments from Madam Kris Jenner regarding […]

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Open Post: Which Jenndashian Needs To Be Voted Off The Island? Island Meaning Planet

December 1, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Each and every Jenndashian brings a little something extra to the table – Beast brings a fork and knife, Kim brings HPV, Kourtney brings an inch of visible gums, Kris brings a Taser in case one of them gets out of line, and Kendall of course brings the only body that isn’t an affront to God. Oh fuck, and Kylie brings… her future slut daughter fetus? They all hate Caitlyn now as much as the rest of the world, but if you want to include her, go for it, as long as you lay a tarp over the chair first. One of these super hot ladies has to go today, so head to the comments and let us know who’s the lesser of a half dozen skanks. Kim for example. 

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Kylie Jenner Peeved at Her Shitty Baby Shower

November 21, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Unlike big sis’s, Jenner’s shower for her first rapper bastard baby was kept low-key, run entirely by E! television producers who forbid Jenner’s girlfriend guests from posting selfies, snapchats, or any media of the lame “pajama garden party” whatsoever.

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Kylie Jenner Will Soon Be Some Rapper’s Wife

November 15, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Kris Jenner is probably the only mother on this planet that congratulates their kid after getting pregnant by a rapper. Now she can pat Kylie on the back for not only scoring a paternity pension if they ever split but alimony payments as well.

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Two Idiots Reference Babies To Shill Makeup

October 25, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Ninety-percent of the time I’m able to write about the Jenndashian brothel without hearing any of the girls actually speak, but in order to supposedly hear Kylie Jenner and Beast spill the hot gos on their pregnancies, I sat through this video of the two makeup-smeared idiots babbling about Khloé’s Koko Kollection for her sister’s Kylie Cosmetics line. Feel like I was just writing in tongues. Kylie and Khloé giggle about their irresistible sex appeal while applying more and more lipstick to their faces. 

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Kylie Jenner Promotes Lip Kit While Watching CA Fire

October 13, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

People looking to hilarious medical experiment Kylie Jenner as their sensitivity spirit animal were shocked and even dismayed to see that she promoted her new Lip Kit line on Snapchat in front of televised news of the California wildfires that have claimed just under thirty lives. The Frankenstein-ed Bratz Doll appears in a selfie captioned “Autumn is available on KylieCosmetics.com” with the television screen in the background telling the equally important but slightly different story “Breaking News: Canyon Fire 2 Eyewitness News.” If she had included the word “lit” in her caption I would know that there’s a God. 

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Kylie Jenner Pregnant and Alone

October 12, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In the future, super rich stupid chicks with big fake breasts won’t need men in order to watch Guatemalan women raise their babies. The future is now.

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First Pictures Of Five Months Pregnant Kylie Jenner Show A House

September 26, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The most successful reality stars identified with Scheherazade from a young age and thought “It’s good, but I can do it super slutty.” And Kylie Jenner has. The sassy starlet was running low on stories – if her poor ratings for Life of Kylie were any indication – so she pulled a hail mary to survive another day in reality land by getting knocked up by Travis Scott. Or Kris Jenner attacked her with a turkey baster in the middle of the night. Either way. Kylie Jenner is five months pregnant with a girl, allegedly, and looking like a house in these new pap pics. I’d keep her alive another day to see how this mess turns out.

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Lena Dunham Victim Of Fertility Industrial Complex For Kylie Jenner

September 25, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Lena Dunham revealed on Twitter that her friends all have busted vaginas, which isn’t too surprising considering I assume all her friends had their lady parts replaced with Coexist bumper stickers to protest the thing during the thing. The most feminist Ziggy impersonator around has always claimed to embrace both high and low culture – to make her approachable, I guess, though no one’s approaching – and isn’t above getting in on the buzz surrounding the paycheck baking in Kylie Jenner’s uterus.

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Kylie Jenner Pregnant Tease

September 25, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

According to sources close to the Kardashian family, or their public relations team led by pimp mom, Kylie Jenner is pregnant. Presumably by her most recent rapper boyfriend, Travis Scott. 

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