Paris Hilton Engaged, People Magazine There To Capture The Magic

January 2, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Zylka’s Yelp review for this Hilton: “Looked nice enough but when I got under the sheets there were bugs everywhere.”

READ MORE

Women Are Innovators Too

November 24, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Paris Hilton and Britney Spears will go down in history for starting the selfie revolution. What have you personally contributed to society? I bet it’s no where near as great as taking your own self portrait.

READ MORE

Kate Hudson Classic Beauty and Shit Around the Web

October 25, 2017 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments

Paris Hilton’s Halloween duds, Mr. Skin’s nudity filled DVD releases, and more!

READ MORE

Burning Man Gets Helipads

August 30, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you were waiting to attend Burning Man, the annual late summer gathering of half-naked acid tripping junior marketing executives in the Nevada desert, until they had a landing strip for private planes and helicopters, wait no longer.

READ MORE

Paris Hilton Revives Reality TV

August 17, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Paris Hilton is underrated. Her powers of resurrection rival that of Jesus Christ himself. And now she’s bringing reality TV back from the dead. 

READ MORE

Paris Hilton Pushing Panties

June 30, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Paris Hilton is many things, among them, hyper aware that women in numerous Eastern nations and multiple emirates want to be her. Men there want to fuck her too, but they know the price for that is more than a $60 bottle of her signature fragrance or a healthy cover charge at one of her name-licensed nightclubs in Dubai.

 

READ MORE

Conrad Hilton Courtroom Crazy (VIDEO)

May 11, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Imagine a steep slide with zero friction and no handrails. At the bottom is full Nick Nolte crazy. Conrad Hilton is flying down the slide halfway to Nolte.

 

READ MORE

Paris Hilton Not a Feminist Per Se

February 24, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

To Paris Hilton’s credit, she specifically avoids referring to herself as a feminist, which is the reflex of every single other famous women despite zero credentials. Hilton stops at being happy to be a generic role model for girls.

READ MORE

Paris Hilton Getting Some in Mexico

January 11, 2017 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s not altogether flattering that at thirty-five you’re in the news for making out on the beach with some dude. The press is in a furor because Paris Hilton was on some Mexican shoreline rolling around with a dude in jeans and no shirt which screams of foreign escort.

READ MORE

Paris Hilton Corrupting The Youth

October 26, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Paris Hilton has been shoving herself in front of paparazzi cameras with Sofia Richie, Lionel Richie’s 18 year old daughter. If you could tell Richie was a prick based on his wardrobe and music videos, the way his children have turned out should be exhibit A. Not interested in music huh? Or books? Dad never taught you three chords?

READ MORE